How Talented is your Tongue?

 

 

The Georgia Tech School of Electrical and Computer Engineering has put in tireless efforts and now successfully created a powered wheel chair that in steered using nothing the tongue believe it or not. With this headset, and a well placed magnet, the users tongue becomes a wireless mouse that can be trained to do any number of directives via a portable computer or smart phone. What the scientist found was that even in severe spinal injuries, since the tongue is connected directly to the brain it is not effected no matter how high along the brain stem the injury may be. Using this knowledge they researched and found out the tongue function is just as good as ever and the perfect “tool” since it can move in all three dimensions inside the mouth. Using the Magnetic field created by the strategically placed units on the headset, the amount of accuracy achieved by this device has been 100% so far amongst able bodied individuals. they have even have macro functions that can be programmed to each tooth placement or combination to potentially give Handicapped users full control over animatronics prosthesis and other assistance devices. i actually am feeling this idea and hope it works out. I'm sure it would be ridiculously expensive once perfected but hopefully covered by Insurance so that spinal injury patients can live as independent as possible if they choose. Below is the full video of its explanation and testing.

 

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I was Gettin some Head, Gettin Getiin some Head Massaged

Awww Yeah Baby... Sorry force of Habit. It's actually the other head not that one... Witcha Nasty Behind. Temple/Crown massages are actually the most natural and effective way to relieve headaches. I know me personally (and have for a while now), and I REFUSE to take over the counter meds unless I'm about to dang near die... I'm the dude who looks at all the ingredients side and unproven long term effects and would rather deal with the discomfort now than permanent damage in the future.

Quick Anatomy Fact: Headaches are caused by a variety of things but essentially do the same thing to the body, causes blood to thicken and clot which creates additional pressure. This is why your headache seems to "Pound" this is simply you feeling your pulse in your brain against pain receptors (I'm a Science/Tech Geek with a lot of Doctor/Nurse friends). What Headache Meds do is Chemically Thin the blood in your body to relieve pressure which is a great immediate fix, but coupled with any number of additional social, environmental, and/or genetic variables, this can actually be fatal. No thanks.

So OSIM created a total immersion therapeutic massager to increase blood flow from every direction. I put this joint on and it was actually adjustable in every way shape and form to fit my big ol dome so I know it'll fit yours, I'm not gonna lie though it kinda hurt. Now I'm not sure if its because I didn't actually have a headache or if my head is just colossal. I mean deep tissue massages hurt their behind off, but when you have back spasms or muscle tension they feel incredible... so maybe the same rules apply here. This specific massager also has a headphone jack to listen to 3 preset relaxation music types while gettin to dome squozed. So for the cost of a one day session from a professional masseuse (about $200), get you one of these joints and enjoy years of pressure relieving greatness. I mean look at dude in the picture… doesn't he look euphoric?

 

 

i-Need Massaging Eye Mask

This $59.95 eye Massager was also available for those Swiper No Swipin Raccoon eyed people. The same basic principal applies except they are not as adjustable with only a velcro strap on the back. Wearing these joints made me feel like I was getting hit in the face by all 3 stooges wearing Down filled Boxing gloves in slow motion. But again, my dome is like super large. Try it for yourself at Brookstone and let me know what you think.

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I Believe I can Fly… using my iPhone

 

Its a Bird, Its a Plane, no... Its a friggin Remote Controlled Toy that uses your web enabled Apple Product as a Remote Control. Technology never ceases to amaze me. This Airplane, well more like a Flying Hover Craft, has a small 2 sq ft footprint (ridin on 24’s), 4 propellers and 2 low res color web cameras for remote viewing that it transmits to your video device in real time. I went to the store to play with it, because I'm a big kid, and of course I had to grill the associate who was actually very knowledgeable for all my Tech Geekie questions.

1) Won't web based video, even in real time, have a lag?

It'd be like Flying Drunk. I mean pilots do all the time, but they have autopilots, copilots, and fly 5miles above anything to hit... you don't.

2) Since its controlled over Wifi, how far can you realistically play with this?

I had to get 2 routers just to cover internet throughout my 1700 sq ft place and My laptop/phone can barely go 20ft outside my house with it. I gotta believe my devices have better quality wireless adapters than this toy.

3) What happens when controls are unavailable suddenly for any reason?

If you Control solely from an App on your iPhone/iPod and you get a call, text, pop up, battery dies or anything that would cause you to take hands off controls what happens to your toy? Seems like Alquedaesque results at that point.

To answers 1 and 2 she replied, "The toy comes with a hot spot CREATOR, not an adapter. So will get roughly a 150ft range in every direction." Well don't I feel like a Jackass. Each unit comes with a device that creates a dedicated Hotspot connection that only works for that Drone, so yes... It is actually better than any phone or laptop available to the public.

To answer 3, the drone actually has a built in Hover sensor that constantly keeps it at about a 3ft level . This stops it from crashing into the ground even when not being controlled. But beware because this works as soon as the device is turned on. Actually made the mistake of stepping under joking around and it shot up another 48inches and hit the ceiling. Good thing the "You Break You Buy" policy only applies to Asian establishments and Liquor stores huh? Whew. She knew her stuff though, I was impressed.

 

Check out the Official Video of it in Action. Pretty Dope Stuff

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iPhone With a Telephoto Lens

 

I guess there isn't always an App for that... but now they've gone a step further to add Hardware to turn the iPhone into a decent digital camera with an 8x Optical Zoom, That's actually a big deal for a phone. Now It’s not a Digital Zoom that eradicates the quality of the pic, but actually mirrors moving magnifying the image so you get a proper, high resolution shot of a close up image. Pretty Dope huh? 

This Lens comes with a Tripod and iPhone Clip to hold it in place while you take some intensely clear spy shots/video clips of Lords knows what. So far it only works for the 3G and 3GS models but I’m sure they will have one for the 4 soon. Happy Stalking iPhone Users. Hopefully they haven't designed a Restraining Order App Yet.

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Wish You Could See Unda da Sea?

Don't you just hate when you ask a Mermaid to wait so you can snap a photo of you two to show your friends at the insane asylum that you aren't really crazy but Ariel's rude behind always dips... smh, B*tch. Well fear no more, with these $99 goggles you'll be watching the Little Mermaid better than Sebastian... whether she likes it or not. Effective at depths up to 15ft, this swim mask with built in 5MP camera will take high resolution Pictures and even video while keeping your hands free to swim, which is probably useful under water. Snatch up a pair of these and a Micro SD memory card and you'll be making Marine Sex tapes in no time to recoup the cost. Can you say "Gills Gone Wild"? Oh and Batteries not included, they requires 2 Triple AAA to see those Mermaid Double D's. Any mermaids up for a friendly game of Find Nemo?

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Stainless Steel Wallet

Yeah, no BS. A $90 wallet that is woven with 25,000 threads of stainless steel thinner than a sheet a paper. Spaceaged. The Tech Geek inside me was extremely impressed at the technological advance and the guy in me was souped because it’s stronger than Leather and completely non corrosive to sweat, salts and even Acid. On an even further Tech Geekie tip… the metal is also a passive scrambler for RFID scanners criminals use to steal credit card numbers without ever seeing or touching the card itself. On some Use the force type ish.

I run through leather wallets multiple times a year and even the halfway decent joints will run about $20 a pop, this might actually be worth copping for me. I travel through airports a lot so it'll just be something extra I have to take out of my pocket to get through the metal detector, but it'd save me money in the long run. Fellas do me one favor though, if you don't have at least $100 in your bank account at ALL times, don't buy an expensive wallet or money clip. You just look dumb. Preciate it.  
 
 
If your not into the metal money keeper something else that I saw that might help you out is the Front Pocket Wallet. Pretty much a run of the mill Leather, but instead of sitting it in your back pocket where it cause an annoyance when you sit down on any hard surface, it is actually curved to the contour of a standard front pocket. Not to be worn by Skinny Jeaners, yall just need Jesus.

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Wish it was Cooler Than The Other Side of the Pillow?

Not me, because for less than 90 bucks both sides of my pillow are cool. I'm Just Ballin like that.

Believe it or not this NASA developed fabric regulates temperature by absorbing and redistributing heat so that there is never an excess. This is the same type of Fabric used for Astronauts to help adapt to extreme temperatures flying to Mars or the sun or wherever the hell they vacation nowadays. Wait, we spent trillions in tax dollars and all I got was a cooler pillow? I'm actually kinda mad now. Eff this pillow, I want an ET or some sneakers that don't scuff or something useful. Yo NASA, What's Really Good?

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Is Your Hairline Looking Like Lindsay Lohans Jail time?

Sounds like you need a Hair Laser… No, No, No there's no cool G.I. Joe type joints here (HUGE letdown) but for you people going bald at 21 and have hairlines that look like Bad Lie Detector test results the your time is now. Apparently the best results, without transplants, is done by a process called Low Level Laser Light Therapy and is now available for home use for about $300.

The X5 Hair Laser claims to give results comparable $10,000 - $50,000 machines in clinics provide in 3weekly 15minute sessions over 8 weeks. Now I don't know if this works or not, but on the off chance it does... don't use on your crotch. Lasers, Crotch, Rapid Hair Growth... Just sounds like the start to an all around bad Emergency Room visit. It's not worth it, Unless you're into Teen Wolf sex. Then have at it.

Here are some Results the X5 Claims to give.

With Photoshop skills available to the average person nowadays… I highly doubt this. 

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The Itsy Bitsy Spiders Worse Enemy

 

Ladies, what do you do when you have a creepy crawly crouched on the wall in your bedroom looking at you with Menacing compound eyes? Probably Run out in a fit and call someone to handle it or douse it in the 1st aerosol spray you can find no matter how toxic it may also be to you. Either way, for $59.95 you can now have a Semi Humane and clean way to kill and dispose of not only the crawlers of the Insect world, but the flyers too... I would like to introduce you to the future… Meet the Bug Vacuum

This 3lb, 22,400 RPM Motored, Electric Zapping Death Grid of Vacuumed Greatness will keep you at least 2ft from your Multi-Legged Nemesis and immediately suck then kill any and all intruders into your home then trap the dead bodies in an Opaque Handle that removes easily to dispose into the trash. Skip out on that nice pair of shoes and get you a rechargeable death machine so you don't have to call that guy that thinks you like him over to handle a problem that you're having in your bedroom. Because he's gonna think its a Sexual Euphemism... I know I would.

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Peaceful Wake up Alarm Clock

Ummm, Huh? This intrigued the hell outta me for the sheer Oxymoronic nature. A Peaceful Alarm Clock? Lets read how this works...

This Clock Gradually increases Ambient Light, Stimulating Aromas and Peaceful Sounds 30min before the pre set time and buzzes gently at the end of the cycle.

Come to think of it... that's pretty dope. Everyone knows smells and lighting will def wake you up. If you think otherwise, try sleeping at Big Mamas house when she get to Cooking and Baking and see you don't pop up like a teenage boys basketball shorts when he sees his Spanish teachers Cleavage bent over in front of him. But… since these joints are about $70 right now, I'll skip on it until they lower the price or include Pancakes and/or Clean Aroused Disease-Free Vagina scents. Its 2010 Hammacher Schlemmer, get wit the program.

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Spy Camcorder Glasses?

The name is E… Creep E

(and I like my women Shaken, not Scurred)

A Must Have for all Aspiring Spies, Police Informants, and overall weirdoes that wear sunglasses at night clubs. Recording at 320 x 240 resolution, it's perfect for uploading that ridiculous chick you bagged hiking up her skirt to show her thong as she dry humped you on the dance floor onto YouTube. Look Ma, No Hands... or future Job Opportunities once they tag your full name in it because you didn't Let him bone the 1st night yall hung out. But You know what they say, "What happens in the dark... is usually being recorded by a Pinhole camera in my glasses so sex me up before I ruin your life" Wisdom to live by. So for $200 you too can record up to 3hrs of video on a Micro SD and embarrass the mess outta someone.

Have fun.

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Waterproof HD TV

You know when you're trying to soak in all that fresh air and nature but have that urge to see 30seconds of Promotional advertisements to tell you what you should look like, who looks like what you should look like, and what you should buy to make you look like what they look like while simultaneously destroying the very nature you're strolling through because of waste produced manufacturing those Items?... well fear no more, your solution is here. All Hail Televisions

These Bad Boys ring in starting at around $2,000 for a 32inch and range up to $7,000 for a 55inch. Please let me have a friend or co-worker cop one of these joints then invite me over and see it don't get 'mistakenly' Office Spaced out of sheer anger. 

    If you gonna get out the house, leave the TV inside please. Thanks.

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