Stainless Steel Wallet

Yeah, no BS. A $90 wallet that is woven with 25,000 threads of stainless steel thinner than a sheet a paper. Spaceaged. The Tech Geek inside me was extremely impressed at the technological advance and the guy in me was souped because it’s stronger than Leather and completely non corrosive to sweat, salts and even Acid. On an even further Tech Geekie tip… the metal is also a passive scrambler for RFID scanners criminals use to steal credit card numbers without ever seeing or touching the card itself. On some Use the force type ish.

I run through leather wallets multiple times a year and even the halfway decent joints will run about $20 a pop, this might actually be worth copping for me. I travel through airports a lot so it'll just be something extra I have to take out of my pocket to get through the metal detector, but it'd save me money in the long run. Fellas do me one favor though, if you don't have at least $100 in your bank account at ALL times, don't buy an expensive wallet or money clip. You just look dumb. Preciate it.  
 
 
If your not into the metal money keeper something else that I saw that might help you out is the Front Pocket Wallet. Pretty much a run of the mill Leather, but instead of sitting it in your back pocket where it cause an annoyance when you sit down on any hard surface, it is actually curved to the contour of a standard front pocket. Not to be worn by Skinny Jeaners, yall just need Jesus.

Tweet

Wish it was Cooler Than The Other Side of the Pillow?

Not me, because for less than 90 bucks both sides of my pillow are cool. I'm Just Ballin like that.

Believe it or not this NASA developed fabric regulates temperature by absorbing and redistributing heat so that there is never an excess. This is the same type of Fabric used for Astronauts to help adapt to extreme temperatures flying to Mars or the sun or wherever the hell they vacation nowadays. Wait, we spent trillions in tax dollars and all I got was a cooler pillow? I'm actually kinda mad now. Eff this pillow, I want an ET or some sneakers that don't scuff or something useful. Yo NASA, What's Really Good?

Tweet

Is Your Hairline Looking Like Lindsay Lohans Jail time?

Sounds like you need a Hair Laser… No, No, No there's no cool G.I. Joe type joints here (HUGE letdown) but for you people going bald at 21 and have hairlines that look like Bad Lie Detector test results the your time is now. Apparently the best results, without transplants, is done by a process called Low Level Laser Light Therapy and is now available for home use for about $300.

The X5 Hair Laser claims to give results comparable $10,000 - $50,000 machines in clinics provide in 3weekly 15minute sessions over 8 weeks. Now I don't know if this works or not, but on the off chance it does... don't use on your crotch. Lasers, Crotch, Rapid Hair Growth... Just sounds like the start to an all around bad Emergency Room visit. It's not worth it, Unless you're into Teen Wolf sex. Then have at it.

Here are some Results the X5 Claims to give.

With Photoshop skills available to the average person nowadays… I highly doubt this. 

Tweet

The Itsy Bitsy Spiders Worse Enemy

 

Ladies, what do you do when you have a creepy crawly crouched on the wall in your bedroom looking at you with Menacing compound eyes? Probably Run out in a fit and call someone to handle it or douse it in the 1st aerosol spray you can find no matter how toxic it may also be to you. Either way, for $59.95 you can now have a Semi Humane and clean way to kill and dispose of not only the crawlers of the Insect world, but the flyers too... I would like to introduce you to the future… Meet the Bug Vacuum

This 3lb, 22,400 RPM Motored, Electric Zapping Death Grid of Vacuumed Greatness will keep you at least 2ft from your Multi-Legged Nemesis and immediately suck then kill any and all intruders into your home then trap the dead bodies in an Opaque Handle that removes easily to dispose into the trash. Skip out on that nice pair of shoes and get you a rechargeable death machine so you don't have to call that guy that thinks you like him over to handle a problem that you're having in your bedroom. Because he's gonna think its a Sexual Euphemism... I know I would.

Tweet

Peaceful Wake up Alarm Clock

Ummm, Huh? This intrigued the hell outta me for the sheer Oxymoronic nature. A Peaceful Alarm Clock? Lets read how this works...

This Clock Gradually increases Ambient Light, Stimulating Aromas and Peaceful Sounds 30min before the pre set time and buzzes gently at the end of the cycle.

Come to think of it... that's pretty dope. Everyone knows smells and lighting will def wake you up. If you think otherwise, try sleeping at Big Mamas house when she get to Cooking and Baking and see you don't pop up like a teenage boys basketball shorts when he sees his Spanish teachers Cleavage bent over in front of him. But… since these joints are about $70 right now, I'll skip on it until they lower the price or include Pancakes and/or Clean Aroused Disease-Free Vagina scents. Its 2010 Hammacher Schlemmer, get wit the program.

Tweet

Spy Camcorder Glasses?

The name is E… Creep E

(and I like my women Shaken, not Scurred)

A Must Have for all Aspiring Spies, Police Informants, and overall weirdoes that wear sunglasses at night clubs. Recording at 320 x 240 resolution, it's perfect for uploading that ridiculous chick you bagged hiking up her skirt to show her thong as she dry humped you on the dance floor onto YouTube. Look Ma, No Hands... or future Job Opportunities once they tag your full name in it because you didn't Let him bone the 1st night yall hung out. But You know what they say, "What happens in the dark... is usually being recorded by a Pinhole camera in my glasses so sex me up before I ruin your life" Wisdom to live by. So for $200 you too can record up to 3hrs of video on a Micro SD and embarrass the mess outta someone.

Have fun.

Tweet

Waterproof HD TV

You know when you're trying to soak in all that fresh air and nature but have that urge to see 30seconds of Promotional advertisements to tell you what you should look like, who looks like what you should look like, and what you should buy to make you look like what they look like while simultaneously destroying the very nature you're strolling through because of waste produced manufacturing those Items?... well fear no more, your solution is here. All Hail Televisions

These Bad Boys ring in starting at around $2,000 for a 32inch and range up to $7,000 for a 55inch. Please let me have a friend or co-worker cop one of these joints then invite me over and see it don't get 'mistakenly' Office Spaced out of sheer anger. 

    If you gonna get out the house, leave the TV inside please. Thanks.

Tweet